These last few months I have had the pleasure of working for a leader who has truly been helping me frame a much more perceptive understanding of change leadership. He has posed to me challenging questions that have forced me to pause and truly consider the direction I have been taking my staff and my students. An area of emphasis he’s honed in on in those first few weeks he came on board this summer was in having me think about my handling of soliciting and processing feedback on various fronts.
This Summer, I got to be a fly on the wall for an in-depth conversation between our district leader and another colleague about previous changes that had occurred in our school district. As our school leader asked about what steps were taken to illicit feedback on a proposed change attempted earlier in the year prior it was shared by my colleague, “Well I sent out a proposal for this new process, but I never heard anything back so I moved forward with it. Then, suddenly people started getting upset and I was taken by total surprise because no one seemed to have a problem with it!”
I will never forget our school leader’s response, “I hate to say this, but they actually gave you feedback. No feedback is feedback, but we need to understand what it means for us.” Over the course of the next few minutes he laid out possible ways the feedback provided insight on the attempted change in process. Here are a few of the observations our school leader made:
-Did we ask the right questions? — If we do not get any feedback then we need to pause and think…have we asked the right questions that allow for feedback to be drawn out or is what we have presented already sounds like a done deal? If it feels like things have already been decided why bother contributing feedback?
-Did we allow enough time for feedback? — If we don’t get any feedback we need to reflect on, did we allow enough time to gain feedback? In our world where it is easy to get drowned out and miss something, we need to make sure if the feedback we seek is really that important than we need to be cognizant of how much time we are allowing for others to ask questions, process what we are asking, and send back the feedback we need!
-Are we asking the right people? — All organizations or businesses are guilty of this at some point; we send out a survey and it is a shotgun blast to everyone! When most times to gain the most meaningful feedback we must be much more surgical and target our surveys for those who can provide the quality of feedback we need to make sound decisions or recommendations.
-Finally, how well have we received feedback in the past? — This is possibly the most important question…if we have asked for feedback in the past and not at least worked through it with those who submitted feedback to know that they are being listened too, even if we cannot followthrough fully on what thoughts were shared. Then, there will be a lack of motivation and involvement to give feedback moving forward, especially if it only feels like a checkbox to say, “Hey, well we asked!”
Though this is a big picture look from an organizational level when it comes to feedback; many of these questions and thoughts are very much applicable in our professional, personal, and spiritual journeys too!
When I think about asking the ”Right” questions…how often do I work on framing a question to get the answer I want rather than the answer I need? Or am I willing to ask the right questions to gain the feedback I REALLY need that will help me grow?
When I consider the time given to provide feedback — often times I would ask God for his thoughts and still go off and do my own thing because he didn’t get back to me in “my timeline”. Or am I willing to uncomfortably WAIT on others to give me the feedback I need for the next steps of the journey?
When I ponder the people I seek feedback from, are they the ones who will simply say yes and agree so I feel better about a course of action? Or am I willing to seek out those who think differently from me and can challenge my perspective?
Lastly, while handling feedback in the past, did I harden my heart and try justifying my thoughts and actions? Or am I willing to, even if it were to be painful or stretching, truly weigh feedback given and as appropriately led by grace, act on it?
Here recently, I was given some challenging feedback that I didn’t at first agree with. The feedback? That maybe ONLY getting four hours of sleep consistently isn’t a GOOD or NORMAL thing! I laughed it off and I thought, what I’ve thought since High School when this became the norm for me…I’ve always operated on fours of sleep and it has NEVER changed! (Okay maybe my coffee consumption has…but irregardless, this was normal and my body didn’t think anything besides itself.)
Well my friend and their family both were persistently concerned and swore that this WAS NOT NORMAL or probably healthy and they didn’t want me to die prematurely. Okay, I appreciated the concern, but seriously I thought, its not that big of a deal! So I did something unheard of to prove a point, I turned off my 5am alarm (I haven’t done this in over a decade…I wish I was kidding) and decided to see what my natural body rhythm would do. Went to bed at around 12:30am and woke up (mind you with no alarm, without any jumping fear I had missed a morning bus route, or thinking I had overslept) at 7:30am. That was a solid 7 hours of sleeping! I gauged how I felt and I didn’t feel draggy or think, ‘Boy do I need a cup of joe right now!’ Went through my day without a hint of a racing mind on everything I needed to do and I felt refreshed.
Now, this was on a snow day mind you, (Whispering lowly so my friend and her family cannot hear, “I’d still set an alarm on a school day; I’m not willing to trust just yet that my body will deliberately wake me up at 7 hours of sleep on the dot!”) However, as I texted my friend…ummm they might be on to something!
So, let’s dissect this for a moment. I could have easily refused to accept this well-hearted feedback and simply said exactly what I was thinking, “You don’t get it, this is completely normal for me, sorry it won’t change!” Yet, I gave it a chance and realized that TRULY this might be a THING I need to work on! I’m so thankful and grateful I’m surrounded by friends and family who REALLY do care for me and are willing to provide challenging feedback that sometimes I don’t want to hear!
Again, accepting and acting on feedback can be hard, but if we are surrounded by those we trust, value, and love DO NOT take that feedback for granted because that spigot of valuable insights CAN and WILL run dry over time!
Seriously, NO Feedback at times IS THE FEEDBACK!
Thanks friends to those who are consistent readers of this blog, I’m on a DAY 4 WRITING streak…completely UNHEARD OF!! I credit a lot of this to the last three snow days we have had, but even more so I credit my Lord who has simply blessed me with an overflowing cup of inspiration these last couple of days! Thank you Lord!
Safe travels to all those heading back to school or work tomorrow, may the Lord continue to pour his blessings and love upon all of us this week! Take care friends!
Perennial Educator 